“Adapt & Overcome” (a letter to Cheri)

“Adapt & Overcome” (a letter to Cheri)

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“Adapt & Overcome” (a letter to Cheri)

June 28, 2012 in Uncategorized

I know that I have not written much since the beginning of the year, mostly because thus far 2012 has been not more than an utter state of chaos and a time of “rebirth” in my world. I have, however, working on this new entry in my head for about a month or so. So here I sit at 4:30am finally putting pen to paper to see where it takes us. (Forgive me if my thoughts are the tiniest bit jumbled)“Adapt and overcome” has for many a year been one of the credos of the Army Rangers and is instill in the core of every “army brat.” I think it goes without saying this montra is often times easier said than done, PKUer or not, but since January 1st of this year I find myself repeating it over and over again to myself to the point of sheer and utter madness. PKUers and, well, my family as a whole tend to have issues with change so it is within my nature two-fold to resist it with the every fiber of my being and since of late I have not been the most faithful follower of my diet regimine I find it becoming harder and harder to adapt and overcome anything. (even the slightest change to my regular TV viewing schedule) While I strive to keep it together in my head it seems to me that the world around me comes crumbling down. (I am not sure if this is a PKU thing, but I tend to be an extremist when comes to certain things & my mom says a tad bit over dramatic, me??? No NEVER, lol)As I mentioned in earlier writings, January 1 of this year our family suffered a great loss in that we last my Father-in-law Joe, now while we comfort ourselves by saying “we know he’s in a better place.” And “he’s no longer suffering.” Let’s not kid ourselves that kind of loss is OVERWHELMING and HARD  to adapt to. Every event since the onset on the year has been and will continue to be a “first” and while they bring up old, heart-warming memories in the end they leave a void and feeling of loss and sadness no matter how hard we try to hide it. This life-altering event led me (by myself without prompting) to set aside any medical issues I, myself, was having at the time, including my PKU treatment which we all know is something you can certainly run from, but cannot hide. Eventually it catches you and hits you hard like a Mac truck. Joe’s death, thus, in turn sparked a series of events that leads me and my family where we are today, a place none of us saw coming. After about a month of trying to move on our family, as a whole, decided some changes for the better were in order and my mother-in-law, Cheri, embarked on a new mission seeking a new home. After one near perfect purchase came apart at the seams there was, understandably, hasitation to try again, but another more suitable fit came around and she decided to “pull the trigger” yet again. I envision she must have remaindered herself she must pick herself up again and carry on (like a good mother), if not for herself than for her family. So when all looked well with this purchase my husband and I moved our family into the “old homestead” as planned and lo and behold a snag popped up which to those of you that have purchased a home in this day and age should come as no surprise, there is so much red-tape to cut through you think you’re in a crime scene. Thus we find ourselves where we are today, three households living in a state of sort of limbo as it were, but we must “adapt and overcome.” Now Cheri spends her days assuring her children (again, like any good mother) have faith it is all going to work out in the end. “This is all in God’s time” she does, however, admit there are times that her faith foundation is shaken as well, which is understandable given the change of events)   Truer words were never spoken. I know so what does this have to do with PKU & me?? I’m getting to it I promise. I give a long backstory to fill you in it will all come full circle.   “Adapt and overcome” along with “Never leave a man behind” are some of the words an Army Ranger lives by. And how do they achieve this two credos??? It’s simple, their reliance on their unit, or family. They must trust that the men and women standing beside them believe in the same things. While this time of transition has been stressful and emotionally draining for all of us it has given this “unit” the Baker Unit time to re-group and re-strengthen its core after losing its leader before tackling it next battles,  so, yes, Cheri, all in God’s time.Now I am not sure what this time is doing for my sister-in-law and her branch of the unit I do see what it is doing for mine. Number 1: Cheri gets to spend time with her eldest granddaughter as never before. Sammi herself is at a crossroads she is nearly an adult and almost ready to strike out on her own. She is able to help with so much around the house and is eager to learn these things so she can translate them into her own home and her next phase in life, which is coming much sooner than we all would like. Number 2: Cheri and her son get to spend time getting to re-know each other (since this change of events has changed them both so much.) She has no problems admitting Dean is SOOOOO much like her now she also gets to see what he has picked up from his father throughout the years and how he uses it. Because while Joe was still alive Dean was still able to be a follower to his lead now is Dean’s time to step and take command of his own unit and be the leader his dad trained him to be. Mind you he still stumbles and reverts to his old self time and again with a run and hide attitude for the most part he now tackles things head on, with a “how can I fix this attitude.” Dean has ALWAYS has this outlook when it came to material things; cars, appliances, etc. now he has shifted it to emotional matters. Take this house situation, in his mind he rationally knows that it’s just a waiting game, but he sees how it’s eating away at his mom and sister and he keeps trying to come up with ways to fix it. Number 3:  Being here has allowed me to re-focus on getting on health on track. I was able to get my health insurance figured out and tackle my PKU head on as well. I got much needed doctor appointments scheduled and chiseling away at my diet and meds more & more every day. (which in turn makes life easier for my husband since I’m less insane)So, again, yes, Cheri “all in God’s time” we are still in the adapting phase of this mission and before we know it we will be in the overcoming. But while we are awaiting the next phase you should hear something you don’t hear enough Thank you. Thank you for all that you do that your family knows about and thank you for all those things you do that they don’t. And while recent events have tested this time and time again you are a strong woman of faith. Trust that your children are an awesome combination of both you & Joe and what the two have done for and you will do for your family is not unnoticed and unappreciated in the slightest.  
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