new year :)

new year :)

Avatar of khyrsten

new year :)

January 2, 2012 in Uncategorized

Im so glad 2011 is finaly over!! All that year was, Was a big heart break!!! This Year i am detremand to make it the perfect year for me and Ray :) Well a lot has gone on since my last blog. More drama, and anger. But it all hasent been bad. There has been some good times and moments i wont forget. I told you how november 8th we were going to cellabrate our little girls birthday even though she is in heaven. Well we did. We went out to eat, watched movies and just had together time. I did cry a little and so did Ray. We talked about what she would look like and whos personality she would have. It was a good and hard day. But i had Ray by my side threw it. Thanks giving and christmas wasent anything specail we went out to eat on both holidays :) Got a few gifts for christmas that i Really like. :) Well the week after christmas I decided to go see my family. It was a BIG mistake. Well not all of it. I made peace with my dad and my crazy brother nick well he was my shadow. I hung out with my mom and aunt for a day and a half. Ray gave me money to go and have fun with. So i asked my aunt to cut and color my hair. She did, its black and hot pink cut so i can have a girly mohawk xD I do love it but going to get some stuff for our hair and nails i ended up paying 75 dollars on stuff that in the end i didnt get to use! We went out to eat with my dad after getting my hair done. I felt so alone, and unwanted. My eyes were opend up to how much my aunt and her baby have taken my place and it hurt. I was quiet for the night wanting to go back to vernal and be around people who care about me. When we got back to the house my mom started to turn into this giant hag and i knew my welcome was warn out. They were starting to go back to the ways of treating me like Cinderella. The next day we went back over to get our nailes done. I was excited!!! I new look for the new years!! an hour into hanging out with them i get send back to my parents house to go hang out with my brother denton. He and i are close, but he has been ditching me for his girlfriend... So i go and not even 10 mins Denton tells me that he is going to hang out with friends.. This was the last straw! I get a call from Ray and well he is in town. I begg him to come and get me so me and friends can have fun. I left and told my mom. Her and my aunt harass me threw text!!! Telling me im a bad person and yeah i turn off my phone for the day and layter that night i hadmaybe 20 messages so i threw my phone, broke it, and gave it back to my parents. Ray and i ended up going back to vernal new years eve. We both got sick and tired of everthing going on!!! I have heard nothing from my family. And i WONT lie its nice... Even though im here in vernal, my mom still thinks that she can controle me. She use to call me and get mad when i told her i didnt want a job. She would bitch and complain about it even though Ray is the one telling me no dont get a job! but now that its the new year and my eyes are opend... Im doing things for me. Last year i tried to make my parents happy by getting a job, or being there Cinderella, and moving out so they wouldnt have to worry about taking care of a baby. And i focased of pleasing them. And all i got was an big i hate you and dont care about you. SO this year I shall be doing what i want, getting a job cause im bored sitting at home all day. Going on vacations, and not worring what my parents and others think... Last year all i seamed to do was CRY this year i will have a smile on my face!!! Ill only cry if i miss my daughter, my brother or if i break something!!! YEah sounds good to me :) Aslo This year maybe fall time I'm going to talk to Ray about trying for a baby!!! :D CAuse i want a baby and i wanna do it right :) So there is my last little bit of the year!! i will have an update in march aftermy birfday :)
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